I parallel park jets at Kennedy Int'l Airport using only my rearview mirror and an uncanny curb sense......
I climb down mountains....backwards…
I attend sporting events and cheer lustily for teams that aren't competing......I drive on the other side of the road while shaking my fist and cursing at oncoming traffic with a British accent…..
I designed a microwave that uncooks pre-cooked meals....
I bark at the moon...
I still believe in Santa Claus, it's the elves that don't exist......
I sing in the shower, on stage.....I've travelled to Kansas by way of Oz, in a balloon.
I race horses.....and win……
I am a former gallant caped superhero, if it wasn't for my modesty and a lack of phonebooths, I'd still be out there crusading......

I built a Time Machine, then lost my watch....and the machine.

I collect dust, I have an entire room full of it, and I've named and tagged each particle to prevent their extinction.....I leave voicemails for myself so I can hear myself speak without moving my lips....
I have visited the moon, studied it, and replaced it with an exact replica....
I've often wondered.....What if only 1 out of 5 Dentists knew what the hell they were talking about....

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